My journey began when I gave birth to my first daughter at home. Though she was born healthy, it was the most painful, traumatic experience of my entire life. I endured 12 hours of unbearable pain to the point where I wanted God to take my life. I could not fathom continuing. Though it was unmedicated, it felt far from natural. When my baby was born, I was unstable and exhausted. Her latch was painful and tight which lead to cracked and bleeding nipples by day four. My depleting milk supply and arduous breastfeeding journey was a constant battle of top ups and worry. It never felt simple or natural. I fell pregnant at five months postpartum which took the sleep deprivation to a whole new level of unthinkable. At seven months postpartum, I decided to give up breastfeeding because it felt impossible to continue. 

Upon preparing for my second birth, I could not accept that what I went through was the inevitable reality of birth. I could not accept that my body was incapable of nourishing my daughter for as long as she needed. I knew birth & breastfeeding is designed by an all-powerful and intelligent God, who would have thought so carefully about each step, so why didn’t it feel like that? I knew wishing you would rather die is not empowering, natural, or God’s design for birth. But I needed to find out what I was missing.

To my amazement, I found it. The key was to protect the hormonal and instinctual processes God designed.

My second birth was also at home with a similar support team, yet, it was peaceful, beautiful, and empowering. I did it. I had the birth I knew was possible. My second birth didn’t destroy me. It didn’t traumatize me. It fulfilled me. This was exactly how I pictured birth to be. I was at 9.5 cm telling my sister, “Take a silly one.” because I wanted to remember the joy I felt. Postpartum was enriched with joy, motivation, and power. My baby had the perfect environment to latch and be satiated at every feed without any supplementation. It made sense when I followed God’s design. I was able to be the best version of myself which made me the best mother for my children.

Get the book, Fearfully & Wonderfully Made, to find out how I did it!

Me at 9.5 cm with my second labour

What are some things you’re bringing into your second labour and what are some things you’re leaving behind?