Is this really the inescapable journey of motherhood?

That birth must be painful because of the curse? That birth trauma from the pain is normal. I always had a dark cloud following me all through my childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood about giving birth. It felt like a torture sentence I wasn’t able to escape. My nightmare came true when I had my first baby, my daughter. It was the worst experience of my entire life. Labour with my first was so long and agonizing I prayed to God to take my life. How was I supposed to convince any young girl that birth and motherhood was something to look forward to? I realized the culture had done my a disservice to preparing myself for labour and birth. It taught me to fear birth and stripped me away from being able to experience a beautiful and empowering labour.

Let’s take a look at why young girls of our culture begin to believe labour is something to be feared. In the Garden Of Eden God speaks to Adam and Eve after they had eaten from the tree which God told them not to eat. In Genesis 3:14, 16 & 17 KJV he says, 

 14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

#1 Humankind is not cursed.

First and foremost; humankind is not cursed. In Verse 14 and 17 you can see God only curses the serpent and the ground. There was a punishment put onto man because of Adam and Eve’s sin, but saying humans were cursed is not accurate and leads to misconceptions for our self reflection. As young girls of society, almost every one thinks about birth as something scary. This is probably the first thing they even learn about birth. . Believing we are cursed when we are not leads to hopelessness and discouragement. We need to speak positively to ourselves and to the other young women of our society. We need to stop spreading this lie that our bodies are cursed and intense labour pain is inescapable.

#2 Men have an escape clause.

Another issue with believing we are still punished is that there seems to be an escape clause for men. God uses the same word when he speaks to both the man and the woman – sorrow. Other versions use the word pain, but it’s always the same word when he talks to the man and the woman. Some believe the sorrowful labour for man is simply a metaphor for stressful or laborious jobs or any kind. Yet, some men some men love their job and do not have sorrow and pain while working at all.

Could God have intended the curse for women to be literal and the curse for men to be metaphorical? Or does this mean men have gotten out of the punishment all together?

#3 Labour pain was intensified, not created.

Lastly, in verse 16 and in many translations, God says that labour pains will be intensified or multiplied. Some translations don’t have this, but it is interesting to note the word choice in most of them. I believe there was always going to be a natural process of pain in labour. Much like how our bodies signal pain to protect us from burning ourselves or stepping on a sharp rock. Pain in labour is necessary for upright movements, alertness, and continuing the cycle of oxytocin release (you can read more in my blog on physiological birth). It is possible that when The Fall happened, God redesigned and implemented the process of pain signals in our physiology. But it is also possible that pain was always a part of the physiological design.

So What Is The Answer?

Is the curse still active? Are women still punished but men have way out? No. I believe that we no longer have to suffer. Neither man nor woman.

Galatians 3:13 says:

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—

When Jesus came and died on the cross he redeemed us from this punishment. I stopped believing that pain must be a part of birth. It is not a right of passage as a woman. Our society still accepts that we are “cursed” and has doomed women into having horribly painful and traumatic labours by the language we use and not taking care when a woman is in distress during labour. We simply think, “Well, it’s supposed to hurt.”

However, labour pain is extrapolated unnecessarily by removing natural elements a woman deserves to birth in such as; the cultural mentality that a woman’s body is designed to birth, having a peaceful environment, freedom to labour as long as she needs, no coached pushing, comfort, loving physical touch, positive affirmations, and more. By removing these elements you not only create more pain but you cause trauma. And that was never a part of the original punishment. Unbearable pain is not mandatory in birth. A traumatic birth is not a part of the physiological design. These are mainly a result of changing how we were meant to birth. So how do I have a birth without pain or less pain?

The key is to change what you believe about birth and about yourself. What do you believe your body is capable of? Birth is a natural, highly intelligent, physiological process that will continue on its own. Only in rare cases is medical assistance truly necessary. If you were told repeatedly as a young girl and even to this day that birth is excruciatingly painful, if you watch it on television, when it’s talked about amongst other women, or even when a doctor tells you it’s painful, remember you are not cursed and you are not being punished. Jesus has redeemed you from the punishment of intensified labour pain and even provides an opportunity to have a pain free birth – as testified by many women. It doesn’t have to be painful. And it absolutely is not meant to be traumatic. It can be empowering and joyful. That’s how God intended birth to be for us.

When I had my second baby, I had an incredible unmedicated birth experience. Mostly because I changed the way I viewed birth. I no longer feared birth. I no longer feared the pain. I maintained a positive and happy attitude throughout labour. I knew how to maintain a peaceful environment. I believed birth was the most incredible experience a woman can have. I believed birth was empowering, beautiful, and desirable. It wasn’t just the ending, it was the whole journey of my baby getting ready to meet me. I knew God had a perfect design for birth and I wasn’t scared of it anymore. I knew this was how it was supposed to be. This is what I wanted. For my birth to be a memory of power. I don’t want to forget my labour. I want to share how powerful it made me. Birth is a natural physiological process that our bodies are designed for when given the opportunity. The birthing process is perfectly crafted by God.

What do you believe about labour pain? Are you fearful?