If you want a peaceful birth, here are my 7 steps to making it there! 

Step 1: Immerse Yourself In Physiological Birth

Physiological birth or natural childbirth, emphasizes an unrushed, supported process with minimal interventions, trusting the body’s innate ability to labor and birth. It is an intricate hormonal process that works optimally while undisturbed. In Ina May Gaskin’s book, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, there are many positive physiological birth stories that encapsulate the thoughts of women in labour and can help in your own birth. They broaden the horizon of how vast the processes of natural birth can look like. It can help relinquish fear and provide you with strength and courage to birth. 

Obtaining a peaceful birth isn’t about knowing how birth mechanically works. It isn’t even about knowing all the tricks to minimize pain with positions and breathing techniques. It is about believing your body is designed to birth and knowing how to create a peaceful and empowering environment. It is about allowing your body to do what it needs and being able to decipher when medical assistance is truly necessary. You can understand what is a normal part of the physiological process simply reading other people’s positive physiological birth stories. 

In an ideal environment where natural birth is the norm and the need for interventions are scarce, birth is given the freedom to unfold as it wishes.

Here are two resources that can help broaden your knowledge about physiological birth. 

• Online self-paced course: Karen Weltons Birth Preparation Course
• Book: Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

Step 2: Increase Oxytocin & Endorphins

Oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone” (Welton, 2014). However, I like to call it the “Miracle Hormone” in light of the numerous roles it assumes in labour, birth, and postpartum. Oxytocin stimulates uterine contractions, helps with pain management during labour, provides brain protection against hypoxia during contractions, encourages the delivery of the placenta, decreases hemorrhaging after birth, and stimulates milk ejection while breastfeeding. Oxytocin does it all and more! For this article’s sake, we will just be looking at the role oxytocin plays during labour.  

There are many ways to stimulate oxytocin release during labour and many ways are more effective in the presence of a loved one. When a woman is loved, held, comforted, made to feel safe and protected, she produces oxytocin. It is also released while laughing, kissing, hugging, praying, and much more. This hormone makes one feel happy and euphoric which can offset the signals of pain in labour.

As stated, oxytocin is what tells the uterus to contract. The more oxytocin, the faster labour progresses. A labour that stalls is one subjected to interventions to help move the process along. If you feel your labour has stalled, try holding onto someone you love, looking at pictures of your other children or wedding pictures. Increasing oxytocin can help the contractions start once again. Something else to keep in mind is to ensure there is no one in the room who is making you feel tense, scared, or uncomfortable. These feelings inhibit oxytocin release.

Note on Pitocin: Artificial oxytocin (Pitocin – often used in inductions and alongside the use of an epidural) can interfere with the natural physiological process of coping in labour. If labour isn’t progressing, Pitocin makes the uterus contract but does not have the same ability to produce those joyful and pleasurable feelings. So pain will be more intense and not as easily managed.

As oxytocin increases, it stimulates the release of endorphins. Endorphins are happy and pleasurable hormones and they act as a natural pain blocker (Welton, 2014). When the body feels pain, the pain signal travels along the neuron from cell to cell making its way to the brain. However, when endorphins are released they connect to the transmission site and block the signal from reaching the brain. If the signal doesn’t reach the brain, the stimulus is not felt. When a woman thinks positively about what she is experiencing with jubilees and encompasses peace, she will release more endorphins. The endorphins will block more of these sites and she will feel less pain.

You can release endorphins by saying words of affirmation, maintaining movement, singing, praying, laughing, and being supported by someone you love. When these hormones are released, you are relaxed and can naturally allow your body the freedom to move through labour. On the contrary, tension and fear prevent your body from doing what it needs to do. Your thoughts have the power to change the outcome of what you feel in the physical body.

A good belly laugh is one of the most effective forms of anesthesia (Gaskin, 2019, p. 200).

Step 3: Do Not Be Afraid

God designed a woman’s body to birth. There is nothing to fear. When a woman is in labour, her uterus, which is a big bag of muscles, is contracting. With each contraction, the uterus is pushing the baby lower and lower (Gaskin, 2019. p. 165). It’s as simple as that. Even though your body will be hard at work doing many other things to bring your baby out, the only “pain” stimulus you may feel is uterine contractions. It’s not as scary when it is broken down so simply. The more you allow this muscle to do its job freely, the more you can find peace. Holding onto fear and tension will decrease oxytocin release. Without oxytocin, labour slows down, if labour slows down, interventions may start.

Welcome the contractions and see them as a good thing. There may be moments when you become afraid and this is when your birth partner can help get your mind back on track. You can tell yourself that each contraction is purposeful and brings you closer to meeting your baby.

Imagine you are in a boat and your baby is waiting for you on the shore. Each contraction is like a wave slowly bringing you closer to meeting your baby. You may not be as scared, you may not even notice anything else around you. You may not notice the sky or what’s in the water. You may not notice the size or shape of the boat; all you can see is your baby. You welcome the waves to pull you closer to your baby. As the waves become higher and rougher, you begin paddling harder to get to your baby faster. Working with the current of the contractions you allow yourself to move closer toward meeting your baby. Until suddenly, you can feel your baby’s touch. You can feel them and you know you’re so close. Soon, very soon, your baby will be in your arms. And just like that, the moment you’ve been waiting for…has arrived. You reach the shore. You pick your baby up and place them against your chest, deeply breathing, thanking God that he brought you to your baby.

Step 4: Be Informed with Interventions

If you plan to deliver with little to no interventions, this is an effective way to minimize unpredictable outcomes and decrease the likelihood of further interventions. Unnecessary interventions can be a source of birth trauma, affecting both mom and baby. It can often impede a baby’s willingness and ability to latch onto the nipple and thus, cause stress about weight gain and milk supply. Inductions and epidurals are a slippery slope for more interventions. During your prenatal visits, always ask about the possible risks and side effects from any intervention. Any medication capable of causing numbness from the waist down during a very purposeful and intricate hormonal process will have lots of risks to both mom and baby! Only accept if you give your fully informed consent and have done everything else you can to provide a peaceful environment for yourself. If you feel pressured or stressed about making a decision, it may not be your ability to manage the pain, but perhaps the energy in the room is inhibiting you from feeling safe, secure and protected – which in turn shuts off the flow of oxytocin and endorphins. If these shut off, labour stalls.

Birth is meant to be a cascade of physiological processes until the baby is born. If this process is interrupted by mechanical or hormonal interventions it may, and most often does, disrupt what is naturally meant to occur and the need for more interventions is more likely. One intervention can have a major impact on how your body or your baby responds.

It is important to know the risks of interventions BEFORE labour and birth and only make decisions that benefit you and your baby. Sometimes, doctors and midwives don’t follow what is physiologically best. For example, if a midwife or doctor tells you to push on your back, even though it is a very unnatural way to give birth, you may comply because you trust them to know what’s best. That is why doing your own research, expanding your knowledge on natural birth, and asking questions about interventions, such as when they are truly necessary and what their risks are, is extremely important.

Step 4: Change Your View Of Birth Pain

I believe people can birth without pain, but I also learned to not fear the pain in birth if there is any. It’s not about getting rid of the pain, but getting rid of the fear of pain. Fearing the pain amplifies the intensity to unmanageable limits and in some cases, it can be traumatic. Why should one fear birth pain anymore than the pain an athlete endures while competing or training in a triathlon? Triathlon training is painful, the recovery is painful, the mental exhaustion to push oneself to limits they never thought imaginable is painful. Discipline as such, is painful. Therefore when sharing birth stories of experiencing pain, it should be no more feared than the pain in any other victorious event. Birth is your sport. Work hard to prepare for it. Face it and use the biological mechanisms God designed for birth in order to endure it. It’s not fearful, it’s powerful.

Whether birth is or is not painful for someone, it is not easy for most women. Birth can be very tiring and that’s often the most difficult aspect. Birth can be long and the moment baby arrives is unknown. It’s like when traveling to a new place, the way there often seems longer than the way back, because you don’t really know how close you are until you’re there. Don’t be anxious trying to predict how much longer or how many more contractions. This can make labour an unpleasant experience. Believe your body is doing what it needs to do and give it the time it needs to do it. Relinquish all control. Trust your body to bring your baby down on its own time and turn your mind to focus on other things. As long as you and your baby are safe and not in distress, there should be no reason to force this process along.

Think about joyful experiences, letting go of any tension, reciting words of affirmation, and relaxing your body. That in itself is a lot of work! To consistently be challenging the mind for hours on end is very difficult and very exhausting! Mental work is difficult to do for hours on end. So the difficulty in birth is not so much that it is painful, but rather, it is a lot of work. The process of labour may feel relentless. One of my repeated phrases in labour, aside from thanking Jesus for taking the pain, was “It’s going to take as long as it needs to.” With this mindset, you don’t have to rush the process. You don’t have to wish it was over. You can allow your body the time it needs to give birth.

Step 5: Learn How To Advocate

Birth is not linear and even with your partner as your main advocate, you still may need to advocate for yourself at times. Just because you discussed it in your prenatal visits, does not mean it will always be adhered to. Many times, new practitioners end up on the scene and sometimes (like any other human, mistakes happen – such as not reading/memorizing a birth plan). It is your birth and it is your baby and you must advocate for yourself or have another person advocate for you to the best of their ability. 

Partner’s will try their best to advocate but they don’t always know or remember everything their partner truly wanted. A birth partner (especially the first time around) is focused on so many other things, making sure their partner was comfortable, getting them water, snacks, doing hip squeezes, probably freaking out themselves etc, that some things may slip their mind. After all, no one knows exactly what will work best for you, other than YOU. So it is important that you play an active role in advocating for yourself when you can!

A way to ensure your birth plan is adhered to is to call the hospital you are delivering at (or speak to all midwives that may possibly be at your birth). Speak with each one directly, introduce yourself, and tell them how you hope your experience will be at their hospital or in their care. Build a rapport with the people who will be caring for you. You can talk to the administrator, the nurses, the doctors, the midwives, and you can vocalize your wishes of how you’d like to be supported. If you feel like they cannot support you properly based on these requests, it may be in your best interest to look for another hospital or place to birth with a different healthcare team. Below are some helpful prompts when making your phone calls.

Hello! My name is ______. I’m scheduled to deliver in your hospital in just a few weeks/months and was really hoping to experience a peaceful and supported physiological birth. ______ and ______ are really important to me and I was wondering how you felt about my requests. I look forward to meeting the team and seeing the facility for my walk through/at the time of birth.

If your previous birth was traumatic, this is helpful for your new care providers to know:

Hello! My name is ______. I’m scheduled to deliver in your hospital in just a few weeks/months. I gave birth ___ years ago and unfortunately it was ______ (try to be factual here and don’t use any blaming words). It left me feeling _____. This time around, I was really hoping to experience a peaceful and supported physiological birth. ______ and ______ are really important to me and I was wondering how you felt about my requests. I look forward to meeting the team and seeing the facility for my walk through/at the time of birth.

This rapport helps them remember you and think of you as a human, not just another patient. It also allows you to ask about hospital policies so you can be informed and prepared for any unexpected events during labour. During your prenatal visits, you should always ask your care provider about what would happen in rare cases and how they could still adhere to what works best for you and your baby. 

Questions

Here are some prompts that you can use if you feel like your birth plan is being changed during labour. 

• What is the medical reason for changing the plan? 
• What are the benefits/purpose for the procedure? 
• What are the risks if I decline?
• Can I please have 10 minutes to think about it?

Statements

When you are vulnerable, you may not have the energy to continue saying no. Sometimes it’s easier to say yes so they stop asking. This is when an advocate other than yourself is truly necessary or be very clear about what you want the first time you respond.

• No thank you. Please only mention a cesarean if my baby or I are in danger.
• No thank you, I do not want an epidural. Please do not ask me again, I will request one if I want it.
• If my baby and I are safe, I’d like to follow my body’s lead for pushing. I don’t want coached pushing.
• I feel more comfortable to push in this position, thank you though.

Step 7: Redefine Birth For Yourself

“You’ll forget all the pain once your baby is born.” 

“Just get the epidural.”

“Why go through the pain when you don’t have to?”

These comments suppress an idea that birth can actually be something to look forward to. It’s even been said that birth is like taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head. These phrases depict that birth is excruciatingly painful and no women should want to experience it naturally since there is medicine to help – discarding the multitude of risks and side effects those medical interventions may cause.

A study with two groups of women highlight how the perception of birth can influence the reality of birth. One group was Dutch women and the other was U.S. women. Most of the Dutch women expected their births to be less painful than the U.S women. Secondly most of the U.S women anticipated the use of medication for pain management. When each group gave birth, it was found that the perceptions of each group were nearly identical to the actual experience (Senden et al. 1988. p. 541–544). This shows that the way you think and feel about birth, will likely have a correlation of how you experience birth.

You don’t have to fear birth. You don’t have to fear the pain. If you maintain a positive attitude throughout labour, maintain a peaceful environment, then birth can be the most incredible experience a woman can have. Birth is empowering, beautiful, and desirable. It is not just the ending, it is the whole journey of your baby getting ready to meet you. God has a perfect design for birth and you don’t have to be scared of it. Your birth can be a memory of power. You don’t have to forget your labour. Birth is a natural physiological process that our bodies are designed for when given the opportunity. The birthing process is perfectly crafted by God. It is not like taking your bottom lip and putting it over your head. Your lips were never designed to do that. You don’t have to scream in pain. You don’t have to be on your back. You don’t even have to push!

Your birth doesn’t need to look the way you’ve always thought it was going to look. The negative things you have heard about birth are possibilities, but know your birth doesn’t have to look like that. It can look peaceful. It can have laughter. Birth isn’t meant to destroy or traumatize you. It is meant to fulfill you. If you birth peacefully, you have the ability to be the best version of yourself which can make you the best mother for your child(ren). This is exactly how you should picture birth to be. My husband even says he’s jealous that I get to be the one who was chosen to bear the children for our family. That’s the right mentality because being the one to birth my children is truly is a blessing. Though it is a very difficult journey, I am honoured to be the one God chose.

Just as a woman’s heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth (Orio, n.d.)

References

1. Welton, K. (2014). Module 2: The Magic of Oxytocin. [Oxytocin: The Love Hormone]. Pain Free Birth https://pain-free-birth.mykajabi.com/products/pain-free-birth-course/categories/2046979/posts/6846185

2. Welton, K. (2014). Module 2: The Magic of Oxytocin. [Oxytocin: The Love Hormone]. Pain Free Birth https://pain-free-birth.mykajabi.com/products/pain-free-birth-course/categories/2046979/posts/6846185

3. Gaskin, I. M. (2019). Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (p. 200). Bantam Books.

4. Gaskin, I. M. (2019). Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (p. 165). Bantam Books.

5. Senden, I. P., van du Wetering, M. D., Eskes, T. K., Bierkens, P. B., Laube, D. W., & Pitkin, R. M. (1988). Labor pain: a comparison of parturients in a Dutch and an American teaching hospital. Obstetrics and gynecology, 71(4), 541–544.

6. Orio, Virginia Di. (n.d.).